We've all felt overwhelmed at one time or another. This can last a day, week, month or a year. That feeling of being overwhelmed, just doesn't go away. For whatever reason, going to work or just getting through the day can feel really hard.

Maybe, there is an environment stressor, or you are struggling with anxiety or depression. Maybe, you've had your heard broken or have gone through a life-threatening illness. There are many different reasons as to why you are feeling overwhelmed. Or, maybe there isn't a cause, you just can't shake the feeling.

Whatever the case may be, I want you to know that you are OK. This doesn't make you less lovable, capable or worthy. This means you're human. You don't have to be perfect. When you put that expectation on yourself, you will never reach it. And, it causes unnecessary stress. Here are five tips that can help get you through this difficult time:

  1. Say no to extra obligations. The first step is telling yourself it's alright to say no. It's alright to let others down. When you always say yes, you add a lot of stress to your life. It's also easy to not feel appreciated, when you are always saying yes. Start saying no today. It's doesn't matter if your house is messy or you take a nap.
  2. Watch a comedy.…

Read more: 5 Tips That Will Help You When The World Feels Overwhelming

Tired of the daily grind? Don't feel like you have enough time for yourself? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you are like many people in our fast-paced society. We are always pushed to do more. Your best isn't good enough. Well, I got news for you, your best is good enough. You need to start believing you are enough.

It's 6:30 in the morning and your alarm starts blaring. All you want to do is hit the snooze button, but the alarm won't go away. You get up and the day begins. Wake up the children, make sure they are ready for school. You also have to get yourself ready. Then, you're off to the office. There are a million questions. Is the brief ready, did you schedule the conference room, etc.? The next thing you know the day is over and you didn't squeeze one minute in for yourself.

As human beings, we aren't designed to go all day without a break. If you watch children they will play until they collapse, if they are allowed to. Usually, a parent will stop them before that happens. As adults, it's up to us to slow down. We no longer have a parent to help us with that. If you continue at this pace, it will start to come out physically…

Read more: 7 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself Everyday

The Gottman's research has found that couples with a strong friendship, have a better relationship. Your friendship affects every part of your relationship, including intimacy. This is true for both men and women.

These days people separate the idea of relationship from friendship. This is an interesting idea. When you think about it, don't you have fun with your friends? And, don't you want to have fun in your relationship? Having fun together is important in any relationship, whether you are intimate or not.

When you start to treat your partner like your BFF, you will start to see your relationship change and grow in healthy ways. Take a genuine interest in your partner. Friends stay together during the tough times. This can also be true in a relationship. The best way to improve the intimacy in your relationship is to work on the friendship. Here are five tips to help you do so:

  1. Express appreciations about your partner regularly. It's easy to forget this when you have been in a relationship for a while. Write down your appreciations on a piece of paper and stick it on the mirror, text your partner during the day or tell them when you are departing in the morning. An appreciation can be something as simple as 'I appreciate your smile.'
  2. Say Thank you regularly. Tell your partner what…

Read more: 5 Tips That Will Help You Rebuild The Friendship In Your Relationship

3 Tips That Will Help You Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship


"If you want to have a harmonious relationship you must learn to communicate and compromise." Milana May

Is it time to bring mystery back into the bedroom?

You may wondering how or when the spark left. It's easy in our fast paced society to put our relationship last. Think back to when you first started dating. You made time for one another and couldn't wait to see one another. Then, came marriage, a house, children and work. Which doesn't leave a lot of time for relationships.

America prides itself on efficiency, we are a goal oriented society. We are raised to believe we are what we make and that our bank account defines us. So, what does this mean, can we ever have enough? I hear this all the time in counseling. 'I wish I had a bigger house, a better car, more clothes or more in my savings account.' I tell my clients you can't always define success by your back account, and believe it or not this can affect what happens in the bedroom.

What this all means, is that we have been socialized to control our sexual urges and our appetite for sex. I know, many of you are thinking, we've rented videos, taken baths together, and have been committed to our weekly date but we still have a dull sex life. Passion…

Read more: 3 Tips That Will Help You Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship

"If you want to have a harmonious relationship you must learn to communicate and compromise." Milana May

Is it time to bring mystery back into the bedroom?

You may wondering how or when the spark left. It's easy in our fast paced society to put our relationship last. Think back to when you first started dating. You made time for one another and couldn't wait to see one another. Then, came marriage, a house, children and work. Which doesn't leave a lot of time for relationships.

America prides itself on efficiency, we are a goal oriented society. We are raised to believe we are what we make and that our bank account defines us. So, what does this mean, can we ever have enough? I hear this all the time in counseling. 'I wish I had a bigger house, a better car, more clothes or more in my savings account.' I tell my clients you can't always define success by your back account, and believe it or not this can affect what happens in the bedroom.

What this all means, is that we have been socialized to control our sexual urges and our appetite for sex. I know, many of you are thinking, we've rented videos, taken baths together, and have been committed to our weekly date but we still have a dull sex life.…

Read more: 3 Tips That Will Put The Spark Back In Your Relationship

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Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

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