As a therapist, I hear it all the time. 'I just can't do this, or I'm just not good enough, etc.' It's easy to put yourself down. We all have an inner dialogue, it's natural. Unfortunately, many people use it to beat themselves up. This can really bring you down. It's true, we are what we think. Your thoughts will affect how you feel. Here are ten tips to help conquer your inner dragon:

  1. Learn to relax. This is a great way to make your inner dragon go away. Take a yoga class or a meditation class. You can also listen to meditation on your iPod. Take a five  minute break during the day to clear your mind and do some deep breathing.
  2. Have a change of scenery. This sounds simple and it is. Go for a drive on a country road or visit a nearby town. Take a trip to the beach or a nearby lake. This will help mix things up and you won't feel overwhelmed in your own environment.
  3. Avoid negative people. When you're depressed it's not that uncommon to attract negative people into your life. Negative people can drag you further down. You want to be around positive people who will help build you up. This will help decrease depression and help give you a positive attitude.
  4. Don't label yourself. It's…

Read more: 10 Tips To Take Care Of Your Mind


After spending time with family and friends, and at holiday festivities, you may find the holiday high is over. Maybe your bank account balance has fallen low after costly holiday gifts, and there is not another work holiday in sight. If you feel like this, you aren't alone. Many people experience a low in January after the holidays. 

At the beginning of The New Year, it's easy to look back at last year. This tends to be a time where we can beat ourselves up. 'I didn't get that promotion, I didn't move yet, or I haven't saved enough money.' This is a trap, you need to stay away from this kind of negative self talk. Now that the hectic holiday schedule is over, here are seven tips to keep the blues away as reality returns:

  1. Did your holiday schedule have you overbooked? Now is the time to get back on schedule. Go back to your support group, that helped make you feel better. Get back on a regular meal plan. Nutrition is important. Catch up on projects at work or get ahead at work, if things are slow. 
  2. Access the holiday financial damage. Did holiday shopping drain your bank account? If so, now is the time to start a savings plan and get back in control of your spending. Regaining a sense…

Read more: How To Kick Post-Holiday Depression

The Benefits Of Understanding Your Child's Emotions



We live in a fast paced society. I hear it all the time in my practice, 'how can I connect with my child?' Parents want to connect with their children more than ever these days. Living in the Bay Area can be demanding, and not leave as much time for your family as you would like to have. You are not alone in feeling this way. I see many families that are going through this.

You can connect with your child. You just need to understand their emotions. We all have emotions. They are important in life. They help guide us in making many decisions. Sometimes, we wish we didn't have them. But, we do, it's called being a human being. I'm always glad when I hear a parent say they would like to connect with their child. This means they deeply care about their child. This is very important. Be curious and enthusiastic about your child. This will make a big difference. Here are five tips to help you connect with your child:

  1. Take an interest in what your child's interests are. This is one of the best things you can do for your child. I know it can be difficult when they really like the Raiders, and you like the 49ers. I'm not asking you to like the same things they do, I'm just…

Read more: The Benefits Of Understanding Your Child's Emotions

5 Tips That Will Keep You And Your Kids Happy During The Holiday Season
"Christmas is doing a little extra something for someone."
Charles M. Schulz


It's that time of year. Christmas is right around the corner, and then The New Year. Right now you may be trying to get in that last-minute shopping. Your son must have a Monster Truck, and your daughter must have the perfect doll. The mall is a madhouse and traffic is horrible. What you really want for Christmas is for your kids to get along and be happy.

You can actually have that. I'm here to tell you that it is within reach. Do you know what really makes your kids happy? I would really like you to take a minute to think about that. When your child was born, they were naturally happy. You just need to feed them, burp them and change their diapers. All of this involves touching them and making eye contact with them.

As time goes on, you begin to play with them. They love to have your attention. I know it's not possible to always give them your full attention. They will need to learn how to self-soothe when you are not around. Here are 5 tips that will help your kids be happy throughout their life:

  1. Nobody is happy all the time. We have a range of feelings and they are constantly changing. You don't want…

Read more: 5 Tips That Will Keep You And Your Kids Happy During The Holiday Season

10 Ways To Love Someone Without Losing Yourself
"It's Love That Makes The World Go Round." W.S. Gilbert

So, you've found love. Now, how do you make it last? In the beginning love is grand. It's just you and your partner. You can't seem to get enough of each other. Then, you buy a house, have children, and get a promotion at work. Slowly over time, your relationship becomes less important and you begin to drift away. It used to be so easy to go out on a date, but now you can't seem to find the time to fit each other in. 

If this sounds like your relationship, you are not alone. Many couples go through this. Relationships are work. Love is a splendid thing and it does make the world go round, but if you want to stay together, then be prepared to work at it. Here are 10 tips to keep the love alive in your relationship:

  1. Six second kiss. You read that right. In our busy world most of the time we give our partner a peck. You need to stop and kiss on the lips for six seconds. It's not really that long and the physiological effects are great.
  2. Know one important thing about your partner's day. This is also known as departing. Before your partner leaves for the day make it a point to know one important thing…

Read more: 10 Ways To Love Someone Without Losing Yourself

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