Tired of the daily grind? Don't feel like you have enough time for yourself? If you answered yes to either of these questions, then you are like many people in our fast-paced society. We are always pushed to do more. Your best isn't good enough. Well, I got news for you, your best is good enough. You need to start believing you are enough.

It's 6:30 in the morning and your alarm starts blaring. All you want to do is hit the snooze button, but the alarm won't go away. You get up and the day begins. Wake up the children, make sure they are ready for school. You also have to get yourself ready. Then, you're off to the office. There are a million questions. Is the brief ready, did you schedule the conference room, etc.? The next thing you know the day is over and you didn't squeeze one minute in for yourself.

As human beings, we aren't designed to go all day without a break. If you watch children they will play until they collapse, if they are allowed to. Usually, a parent will stop them before that happens. As adults, it's up to us to slow down. We no longer have a parent to help us with that. If you continue at this pace, it will start to come out physically…

Read more: 7 Ways To Take Care Of Yourself Everyday

"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." Rum

It's no secret - managing all the things you have to do as an adult is a challenge. I hear this all the time in my practice, 'I wish I had more balance in my life.' It's easy to put yourself last on the list when you have a spouse, children, work and a house. But, like a car you need to fuel up, now and then, or you will run out of gas. Here are some tips to help get your life back in order.

  1. Plan - I always ask my clients if they have a planner and are they using it? Most of the time they have one but aren't always using it. Start your week by looking at your planner. Schedule work commitments, physical activity, personal and family time. Remember to leave time for yourself. Then, look at your planner daily and make any changes that need to be made.
  2. Prioritize - This means deciding what is most important, and then doing what is most important for achieving balance. What needs to be done first? With who or whom do I need to spend my time with? What are the consequences of not doing an activity?
  3. Organize- This means bringing more structure to your time and space. We can waste a lot…

Read more: Six Helpful Tips That Will Bring Balance To Your Life

"Love is the miracle cure. Loving myself works miracles in my life." Louise Hay

Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may be true but we learn self-love by being loved, especially in the places where we feel most unsure and most vulnerable. If you show vulnerability in a relationship and it is met with disinterest or criticism, something inside of us starts to shrivel and we may think twice about ever sharing that part again. This actually starts in childhood.

Having said that, when you love yourself you are better able to receive love. It's easy to pick the parts you don't like about yourself. I hear it all the time in my practice. If I were to ask my clients three things they hate about themselves, the question would be easy to answer. But, when I ask them to tell me three things they love about themselves, they often sit there in silence. I tell them, three is a small number, there are many more great things about themselves.

Why do people in our society struggle so much with loving themselves? We are human, we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. The psychological rewards will amaze you. You will have better health and better…

Read more: 10 Steps To Help You Go Easy On Yourself

"Love is the miracle cure. Loving myself works miracles in my life." Louise Hay

Everyone's heard this self-help platitude: We need to love ourselves before we can love anyone else. This may be true but we learn self-love by being loved, especially in the places where we feel most unsure and most vulnerable. If you show vulnerability in a relationship and it is met with disinterest or criticism, something inside of us starts to shrivel and we may think twice about ever sharing that part again. This actually starts in childhood.

Having said that, when you love yourself you are better able to receive love. It's easy to pick the parts you don't like about yourself. I hear it all the time in my practice. If I were to ask my clients three things they hate about themselves, the question would be easy to answer. But, when I ask them to tell me three things they love about themselves, they often sit there in silence. I tell them, three is a small number, there are many more great things about themselves.

Why do people in our society struggle so much with loving themselves? We are human, we are not perfect and we all make mistakes. Stop hating yourself and start loving yourself. The psychological rewards will amaze you. You will have better health and…

Read more: 10 Signs You're Doing Well In Life, Even If You Don't Think You Are

Being Single Doesn't Have To Suck


So many of my single clients ask me, 'why am I still single?' They feel they are doomed in relationships. I ask them, "are you truly being honest with yourself?" How open are they to their friends and family's constructive advice? How open are they to therapy and taking a closer look at themselves? Many of my clients complain that they repeat the same dating patterns. I have found that many single people, may be sabotaging their chances of happiness without realizing it. It's surprising how many single men and women feel they don't deserve a loving relationship. 

I live and practice in the Bay Area, and many people complain it's hard to meet single people. I tell them, they are in charge of their attitude and they are responsible for how they come across to people. They need to understand they are responsible for their happiness and who they allow into their lives. This may be hard to read, but you need to read it. If you are always attracting people towards you that are non committal it may actually be "you" that has the fear of a relationship actually working out long term. 

First Impressions and Things to Be Aware Of:

  • Being too available (coming across as desperate) 
  • Putting someone on a pedestal or idolizing them
  • Pessimistic or negative comments
  • Insecure…

Read more: Being Single Doesn't Have To Suck

Contact Information

Office Location 
Lianne Avila, MFT
1510 Fashion Island Blvd.
Suite 110
San Mateo, CA 94404

Phone Number
(650) 892-0357

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