You are told that money will make you happy. Maybe, you didn’t have much money growing up, or maybe you had everything. Whatever the case, you need to define your relationship with money and not let it control you.

We live in a country that puts a high value on money. This can leave you feeling like you don’t have enough. You really can’t buy love. Money cannot replace the time you spend with your loved ones. It also can’t take back the past or predict the future.

The truth of the matter, is you need money to survive in this country. It will put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table. This is something everybody needs. So, why is money the root of all evils? For many, money is power and status. You really need to be careful here. If you idolize people with money, you will not see them for who they really are.

Here are 6 reasons money is causing problems in your relationship:

  1. You have different financial priorities. You both need to be responsible with money. One person shouldn’t always have to monitor the other’s spending. You need to talk about your financial priorities. If one person wants to save for a trip to Spain, while the other drops $500 on a night out with friends. Then,…

Read more: 6 Reasons Money Causes Relationship Problems

Wouldn’t that be nice, a relationship without problems. That really is a dream. We all go into a relationship with our own set of problems. We learn to be in a relationship through our own family of origin. Which is different for everyone. Then, you try to mesh the two together.

That isn’t always easy. Which, if you have been in a relationship for a while you’ve probably figured out. So, the answer is no there is not a relationship that doesn’t have problems. The Gottman’s research has found, what’s important is that you repair. This means you accept one another’s differences and you learn to make up after an argument.

After working with many couples over the years in my practice, I have learned to appreciate the importance of perpetual problems. A perpetual problems is a problem that keeps coming up in your relationship that you just can’t solve, or come to a compromise that works for both of you.

5 benefits of perpetual problems:

  1. Make-up sex. What nobody tells you about sex, is that it is much more enjoyable when you talk about it. This is another area that our culture leads us to believe, that it will automatically be great. You each have your own body and it can take time to get to know one another sexually. Your likes and dislikes may differ. Maybe your…

Read more: Is There Such A Thing As A Relationship Without Problems?

We live in a time where going to see a counselor, is not that uncommon. Thank God, it’s hard to believe there was a time where it was considered taboo. I am grateful for all the counselors before me, that fought to make it alright.

Counseling can help get you through the bumps in life, especially in your relationship. But, like everything with good comes the bad. So many people want to see a counselor for everything. For example, ‘I am so worried he will not like me if he finds out about my past.’ When he already likes you and he knows about your past.

What will happen if he doesn’t call me back?’ Does it mean I will never meet the man of my dreams and get married?’ The answer is, I don’t know, and that’s alright. You don’t have to have all the answers and dreams are always changing.

Here are 5 reasons you don’t need a counselor for your relationship challenges:

  1. This too shall pass. Every time you feel the road getting bumpy, say these four simple words. Repeat them over and over. If you have to, fake it till you make it. Remind yourself of the difficult times you have been able to get through. This may mean you need to change the lense. This will help you,…

Read more: What Are Relationship Challenges You Can Manage Without A Counselor?

At the beginning of a relationship, when everything is new. You can’t imagine you would ever have any kind of a challenge in your relationship. You can’t see your partner’s flaws. The relationship makes you feel wonderful.

But, eventually the honeymoon is over. You start to see your partner as a real human being. With flaws, like the rest of us. Problems are part of every relationship. The Gottman’s research has found, that 69% of problems in a relationship are unsolvable. This means, learn to understand your partner and your problems in the relationship. Nothing is as black and white as it seems.

Here are 4 of the most common relationship challenges:

  1. You will not meet all of the dreams you had for the relationship. You entered the relationship with your dreams of what love is. You thought you knew your partner’s love language. You thought your partner would always understand you and take your side. It’s alright to go into a relationship with dreams and expectations. But, I’m here to tell you they won’t all be met. This is where you need to learn to self-soothe. You can’t rely on your partner for everything and to always be able to soothe you. It’s really easy when you have been in a relationship for a while, to always want your partner to soothe you when you are…

Read more: How To Overcome Relationship Challenges

Relationship and marital problems are not that uncommon. They come in all shapes and sizes. If you are feeling disconnected or alone in your relationship, you are not alone. The divorce rate is almost 50%. This should tell you something.

As a Marriage & Family Therapist and a trained Gottman Couples Therapist. I can tell you I have seen a lot of problems. My knowledge has allowed me to help many couples through difficult times. I have found that the small things make a BIG difference in a relationship.

So, the question is why do so many of you get away from that? I see it all the time. Work, children and the house take over. This means your relationship gets further down on the list. When you start putting your partner last, your relationship is in big trouble.

 Here are 7 types of relationship challenges:

  1. Perceived lack of concern, care and attentiveness. Feeling like the relationship is one-sided. Alright, you decided to stay home while the kids were young. You wanted to be there to see them grow and change. You sacrificed a lot to do this. You had a thriving career and great friends. Now, he is away at work all day. He has been promoted and works late most of the time. His travel schedule is crazy. This leaves you with all the responsibilities…

Read more: The 7 Types Of Relationship Challenges (And How To Fix Them)

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